Freedom2change often talks with people who have never thought that they have a problem
or even thought of making a change in their sex habits. These people have phoned and
entered treatment only because someone else said that they have a problem. An effort is
made to increase the clients perception of the risks and problems associated with
Crisis is the point at which one feels he or she must change or else. Change becomes
necessary if one is going to avoid further problems and reconnect with the family. It
could also occur once he or she is made aware of the consequences of his or her
indifference. Often the person feels backed into a corner with limited options and as a
result it can be a very emotional period.
This stage is the recognition that someone could even have a problem with sexual
habits. There is an effort to find out what a problem with sex looks and feels like. It is
a period of education and consciousness raising in an attempt to better understand the
risks of not changing and a strengthening of the persons self-confidence to change.
Once fully informed clients must decide what they are going to do with this knowledge.
Typically they have 3 choices either; fight it, avoid it, or talk about it. Most feel glad
that they are making a commitment and choosing a direction. Sadly, there is also a sense
that just making the commitment will free them and so over confidence often ensues.
Help the client to determine the best course of action to take in seeking change. A
tremendous feeling of empowerment ensues as the client feels liberated and confident in
his or her ability to change.
6. Hard work
When results do not come quickly or the pain becomes to great clients struggle and
doubt the severity of their earlier crisis.
7. Unexpected pain
At this stage the client is doing all of the right things but getting the wrong results
(give up porn but your wife continues to treat you poorly). Most are tempted to give up on
their goal and unfortunately many do. People often quit when success is right around the
corner. Clients must learn to feel their pain and react and learn to differentiate between
serious pain and temporary inconvenience.
If a lapse does occur one must see failure for what it is, make appropriate
adjustments, and move on. It is important at this stage to weigh options and consider the
long term consequences of their behavior.
9. Joy and integration
At this stage, the changes are truly a part of your life. Moving from a place of
disconnection to integration is difficult but vital if one is to find true contentment and